Today was a day from hell. Ellie's attitude has been so bad lately. She is exhausted by 3pm, but if she takes a nap she is up until 11pm. I like to be in bed by 11pm, so I certainly don't want to be up with her at that time. Because of this, she has been napless for about a year now. I am about 90% sure that her poor behavior is a result of her being overtired and not that she is the anti-christ.
Tonight she begged me to go to bed at 6:30 after being in time out for the fifth time in as many hours. I was more than happy to oblige. I put Than in his crib, got through Ellie's bedtime routine, read to Charlie and then put him down as well. All three kids in bed and asleep by 7:15!
I had fifteen minutes to myself. Fifteen minutes. Before someone (Charlie) started crying. My first reaction was to be annoyed. I went in the boys room and there he was standing in his crib with his arms stretched out for me. As soon as I saw him I felt better. He just needed a cuddle. I picked him up and we cuddled in his rocker for 20 or so minutes. I realized that in a few years he probably won't want to do that anymore. It was the reality check I needed to snap me out of my funk. We only get to do this once.
Showing posts with label Parenting is hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting is hard. Show all posts
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
When does your luck run out?
As far as I'm concerned, I live a pretty charmed life. I'm not trying to brag. I'm just really grateful that I have so many blessings in my life. I have a so close to perfect husband it's sort of disgusting. I have two amazing kids that I get to say home with and one more on the way. I have a great family and so many wonderful friends. So my question is... when does your luck run out?
I never thought I'd be able to stay home with my kids. Chris and I both always WANTED it that way, but what you want and what you get aren't always the same thing. Scary to think that Ellie being sick as a baby is what lead us to have to make it happen. The sacrifices we made at the time aren't even a big deal now, but at the time they were life changing. How lucky to have a miracle child that has successfully made it through three open heart surgeries with only a few bumps along the way?
How lucky were we that just when we feel like we're going no where financially Chris lands an awesome new job?
Chris and I have always been that kind of couple. Our life together has never been boring. For us, when it rains it pours, but after the rain the rainbow is truly amazing. Everything always happens all at once, for example... last Fall I was 7+ months pregnant, Ellie had her third open heart surgery and we were selling our condo to make the big move to Philly. All very big things in their own right, but I never flinched. I always just "know" things will work out, because they always have for us, but what if some day we aren't so lucky?
I hate that nobody can tell me what the future holds for Ellie. I hate that she probably won't be able to carry children of her own some day. I hate that Chris and I will never be able to let go of the fear we always carry around inside of us, even if sometimes it's buried so deep we think we're fine. I don't really know what my problem is. I don't really have a problem. I am just so ANGRY and scared right now! I wish I had spare dishes to throw on the ground. I think that would make me feel better. Ya know, I think what I hate the most is that even if she never needs another surgery or intervention of any kind in her entire life it won't stop me from worrying. I will never again in my life be 100% okay. The fear and worry will always be there and quite frankly, it makes me tired.
I never thought I'd be able to stay home with my kids. Chris and I both always WANTED it that way, but what you want and what you get aren't always the same thing. Scary to think that Ellie being sick as a baby is what lead us to have to make it happen. The sacrifices we made at the time aren't even a big deal now, but at the time they were life changing. How lucky to have a miracle child that has successfully made it through three open heart surgeries with only a few bumps along the way?
How lucky were we that just when we feel like we're going no where financially Chris lands an awesome new job?
Chris and I have always been that kind of couple. Our life together has never been boring. For us, when it rains it pours, but after the rain the rainbow is truly amazing. Everything always happens all at once, for example... last Fall I was 7+ months pregnant, Ellie had her third open heart surgery and we were selling our condo to make the big move to Philly. All very big things in their own right, but I never flinched. I always just "know" things will work out, because they always have for us, but what if some day we aren't so lucky?
I hate that nobody can tell me what the future holds for Ellie. I hate that she probably won't be able to carry children of her own some day. I hate that Chris and I will never be able to let go of the fear we always carry around inside of us, even if sometimes it's buried so deep we think we're fine. I don't really know what my problem is. I don't really have a problem. I am just so ANGRY and scared right now! I wish I had spare dishes to throw on the ground. I think that would make me feel better. Ya know, I think what I hate the most is that even if she never needs another surgery or intervention of any kind in her entire life it won't stop me from worrying. I will never again in my life be 100% okay. The fear and worry will always be there and quite frankly, it makes me tired.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
One of those days...
It has just been one of those days today. I was ready to pull all the hair out of my head until about an hour ago. Since then I have eaten ice cream, played online poker and now I am half watching American Idol. Ice cream is a cure all for me.
I started off the morning with my postpartum appointment (almost a month late). The new OB I saw was really nice. He just moved here from NY so he was asking my opinion about the town we live in. He's looking in our area and has a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. Maybe his wife stays home and she can be my friend! Do I sound desperate? Anyway, Magoo was well behaved and Bubba slept. Magoo was very proud to announce that I have a vagina and boys have penises. At least we were in the appropriate place for that kind of talk. The doc said it was good that she knows the "appropriate language." LOL. Needless to say after that I needed an ice coffee!
After that we went to return some things at Target & Christmas Tree. That was pretty uneventful. At home Magoo practiced her letters. She can almost write her name! She can write the letters, but doesn't get that they go in a line.
We are trying this new thing where we don't put Magoo down for a nap and instead put her down at 7:30 p.m. She wasn't falling asleep until like 9:30 p.m. when she got her naps... we weren't having that! So, we cut the naps. This causes her to get a little silly in the evening. Tonight she spilled her milk and peed on her bedroom floor! She hasn't really had any accidents besides that one. She even stayed dry the last two nights! She weighed in at 24 pounds 3.5 ounces last night before her bath! Woo hoo! First time we saw 24 on the scale!!
Bubba cried a lot this afternoon and into the night. He's cluster feeding every hour and a half. It's driving me mildly crazy. This is what they do when they are going through a growth spurt and preparing me to make more milk, right? I hope this doesn't last much longer. It's almost 9:30 p.m. and I've been ready for bed for about two hours now. He falls asleep and I try to put him down but then he wakes up and is ready for another round. It's tiring! It could be from his shots yesterday too.
Ok - going to bed now!
I started off the morning with my postpartum appointment (almost a month late). The new OB I saw was really nice. He just moved here from NY so he was asking my opinion about the town we live in. He's looking in our area and has a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. Maybe his wife stays home and she can be my friend! Do I sound desperate? Anyway, Magoo was well behaved and Bubba slept. Magoo was very proud to announce that I have a vagina and boys have penises. At least we were in the appropriate place for that kind of talk. The doc said it was good that she knows the "appropriate language." LOL. Needless to say after that I needed an ice coffee!
After that we went to return some things at Target & Christmas Tree. That was pretty uneventful. At home Magoo practiced her letters. She can almost write her name! She can write the letters, but doesn't get that they go in a line.
We are trying this new thing where we don't put Magoo down for a nap and instead put her down at 7:30 p.m. She wasn't falling asleep until like 9:30 p.m. when she got her naps... we weren't having that! So, we cut the naps. This causes her to get a little silly in the evening. Tonight she spilled her milk and peed on her bedroom floor! She hasn't really had any accidents besides that one. She even stayed dry the last two nights! She weighed in at 24 pounds 3.5 ounces last night before her bath! Woo hoo! First time we saw 24 on the scale!!
Bubba cried a lot this afternoon and into the night. He's cluster feeding every hour and a half. It's driving me mildly crazy. This is what they do when they are going through a growth spurt and preparing me to make more milk, right? I hope this doesn't last much longer. It's almost 9:30 p.m. and I've been ready for bed for about two hours now. He falls asleep and I try to put him down but then he wakes up and is ready for another round. It's tiring! It could be from his shots yesterday too.
Ok - going to bed now!
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